Jingle Bells..

The trepidation for the Christmas season was creeping up on me each passing day. A paradox of the expected excitement as is every Christmas, together with the fear of not being with my family on such an occasion. Trying to hold a positive mindset was a challenge. I kept telling myself that it's just one day it's just one day. The girls held a secret Santa at Starbucks, where we each gave a $15 gift. It was a laughable, enjoyable evening to spend with new friends. Gifts were fun and thoughtful.

Our Christmas tree was picked out by myself and the kids at the local " Christmas Tree Place" where we brought it home on the roof of the Suburban. Decorations included home made ornaments by the kids, and a collection of ornaments from the past thirty, forty years, passed down from generations, and accumulated each year by the kids, and special memories and places. I had been given my very own stocking, matching the family, with my name embroidered, hanging by the fireplace, enough to feel extremely special.

Danielle and I were skiing in Vermont the weekend before Christmas, it was a pleasant distraction. Driving back early Monday morning, leaving the Condo in Vermont, I saw one star shining brightly and " Wishing upon a star " jumped into my head, and the first wish would be that I could be home for Christmas. It started a series of crying sessions throughout the day. Getting it all out was the only option. I had work for the afternoon as a distraction, and Christmas dinner with the family that night. Having bought the kids gifts, I dashed to TJ Maxx to buy the parents gifts too, cutting it fine seems to be my forte. We made gingerbread houses with the kids, and had a lovely Christmas meal. All the children opened gifts from family, Santa's gifts were to be opened on Christmas morning. I woke up early in anticipation of the kids drooling over their presents, to my surprise I had to do the waiting. Being afternoon in SA, I had family members and friends badgering me into Skyping and phone calls, understandably the day was almost over, but it had only just started for me. I was juggling between messages and opening presents with my host family, phone calls and morning waffles, Skype sessions and stocking fullers. My family loved all their gifts, such a warm feeling making someone happy. I myself was very blessed, with wonderful unexpected gifts. Skyping with all the family was entertaining, as my dad and the gang down the South Coast, couldn't get their camera working, so all could see me, and I had to make the distinctions via voice recognition. Mom and the family exchanged phone calls, as they were enjoying the hot weather at Midmar Dam. It was an emotional few days, but once it passed, I knew this was just another obstacle I had overcome, making me that much stronger.