Thoughts running through my head....

Sometimes the world can seem like a scary place, where we feel like the only safe place is in the arms of comfort. Be it in the arms of your mom, or simply looking out a familiar window at a view that you have come to know like the back of your hand. Comfort is a strong drug, one that many rely on, in times of sadness, depression and loneliness. Some find it at the bottom of a bottle of wine, or perhaps at a crowded club surrounded by loud music and dancing, laughing and drunk strangers.Others find it within themselves, a place they go in order to escape, a book, a piece of clothing. The former symbolizing distraction and excitement, a temporary escape from reality to lift the mood, or the latter, a constant, a piece that has been by your side no matter what. We all have our comfort drugs. The scary thing about being thousands of miles away from home, where your drug could be friends and family, love and support, physical affection and familiarity, is that it becomes unattainable. You are forced to substitute your drug for something else, something new, you have been taken outside your comfort zone, and away from your comfort drug. The struggles that come with this void can be difficult, that can make you stronger and tougher, and they can make you weaker. The choice is ultimately up to you. A temporary drug could be the solution, but its never quite the same. Some people find a new, better drug, that pushes the previous one out the water, these are the people that usually stay in their new place, a new country, a new job, this is rare, and quite amazing for the person who didn't know what they were missing out on in the first place. Leaving our comfort zones force us to discover ourselves on a deeper level, we are forced to be exposed without being wrapped up in protection. It's this exposure that really gives us a greater perspective on ourselves and the world. We become more defined, more specific in the things we want and desire, we are able to distinguish better between the right and the wrong paths, we develop a thicker skin, that could protect us even more in the future. Sometimes it takes struggling at your weakest point, without your comfort drug, where you feel helpless and desperate and worthless that you clutch at anyone and anything to feel normal again. It's this deepest struggle we experience that ultimately awards you with the biggest comfort in the end, comfort within yourself, for yourself, about yourself. It's from this acknowledgement we become true to ourselves, and the rest falls into place.

Can what, CanCUN !!

For months now, Danielle and I had been talking about a vacation. Cancun has always been a place that's been a well known party capital city of the world. In a conversation it came up that she always wanted to go to Cancun, and just like that, it was decided, an agreement, no questions. The amazing thing in the States, is the surreal All Inclusive Packages and deals that are offered in majority of the big vacation destinations. It seems like a scam, so little for flights, accommodation, food and ALL DRINKS ! What a steal. I asked Tracey about it as doubt showed its ugly  face, and she confirmed that this was very legit and very common. We decided to make lists of pro's and cons of what we would like in a hotel. Amazing beach access, nightclub on the grounds, pool bar, entertainment, awesome pool, and a young party vibe. We went through hundreds of hotels, reading reviews and weighing them against each other. We decided to take the risk of booking at the very last minute in hopes of a bargain. This was stressful to say the least. Nevertheless we were booked and paid for on the Saturday, leaving and flying the next Wednesday! The excitement was numbing, and for more beneficial reasons than just the holiday. Monday comes, Tuesday arrives and our favorite weatherman delivers us the news about a snow storm to begin early hours of the morning. We needed to catch the  5a.m train, to make the journey to JFK to catch our 10:50 flight. Nina being our lift, was unable to drive in the snow, therefore possibly arriving at JFK at 1a.m and sleeping it out was an option, last resort option. Thankfully Joe came to the rescue and offered to drive us at 4a.m to the train station in his FJ Cruiser, a car that sees no obstacle haha! An hour delay and we were butterflies of excitement and one 5 hour or so flight to destination PARADISE. Taking a step out the air-conditioned airport, the thick humidity of the salty sea air slapped us in the most welcoming way.

 



The sun on my skin was a feeling I had missed and craved for weeks, months. Everyone was extremely friendly shouting " Ola Chica's " at every angle. We found our shuttle service, and with a welcome rose and a bottle of Dasani we were on our way. We met a lovely married woman who was meeting her girlfriends for a reunion weekend, a foresight of mine. We stopped at many hotels dropping off passengers and myself judging each one quietly in my head, before arriving at ours " The Grand Oasis Cancun " Walking into the entrance we were greeted and visually struck by the jungle effect center area where festivals and performances occurred.

Exhausted at this point, we waited in line to check in, and eagerly made our way to our room with our luggage to settle in...

Jingle Bells..

The trepidation for the Christmas season was creeping up on me each passing day. A paradox of the expected excitement as is every Christmas, together with the fear of not being with my family on such an occasion. Trying to hold a positive mindset was a challenge. I kept telling myself that it's just one day it's just one day. The girls held a secret Santa at Starbucks, where we each gave a $15 gift. It was a laughable, enjoyable evening to spend with new friends. Gifts were fun and thoughtful.

Our Christmas tree was picked out by myself and the kids at the local " Christmas Tree Place" where we brought it home on the roof of the Suburban. Decorations included home made ornaments by the kids, and a collection of ornaments from the past thirty, forty years, passed down from generations, and accumulated each year by the kids, and special memories and places. I had been given my very own stocking, matching the family, with my name embroidered, hanging by the fireplace, enough to feel extremely special.

Danielle and I were skiing in Vermont the weekend before Christmas, it was a pleasant distraction. Driving back early Monday morning, leaving the Condo in Vermont, I saw one star shining brightly and " Wishing upon a star " jumped into my head, and the first wish would be that I could be home for Christmas. It started a series of crying sessions throughout the day. Getting it all out was the only option. I had work for the afternoon as a distraction, and Christmas dinner with the family that night. Having bought the kids gifts, I dashed to TJ Maxx to buy the parents gifts too, cutting it fine seems to be my forte. We made gingerbread houses with the kids, and had a lovely Christmas meal. All the children opened gifts from family, Santa's gifts were to be opened on Christmas morning. I woke up early in anticipation of the kids drooling over their presents, to my surprise I had to do the waiting. Being afternoon in SA, I had family members and friends badgering me into Skyping and phone calls, understandably the day was almost over, but it had only just started for me. I was juggling between messages and opening presents with my host family, phone calls and morning waffles, Skype sessions and stocking fullers. My family loved all their gifts, such a warm feeling making someone happy. I myself was very blessed, with wonderful unexpected gifts. Skyping with all the family was entertaining, as my dad and the gang down the South Coast, couldn't get their camera working, so all could see me, and I had to make the distinctions via voice recognition. Mom and the family exchanged phone calls, as they were enjoying the hot weather at Midmar Dam. It was an emotional few days, but once it passed, I knew this was just another obstacle I had overcome, making me that much stronger.

First Snow ..

My first snow falling experience happened while Danielle and I were at Panera Bread having lunch, it was such an exciting, overwhelming moment I wanted to share with everyone I knew! We stuck out like sore thumbs as we danced and screeched around the parking lot. It was evident the locals felt nothing near what we were feeling, if anything, the opposite in the lines of inconvenience and frustration. We snapped away at the very minimal snow falling, and thought driving home would be the best option, considering we'd never driven in snow before.









Coming home, Nick and I put on our snow gear, and started making small snowballs and throwing them at each other. I was wrapped up in parallel calibers of excitement as the kids, sledding down the bank and getting icy snow all over our clothes !

 

However, as I type this, being the 11th February, we have come to experience a number of snowy occasions. Most recently being Nemo, whom brought 3 feet ( under a meter ) of snow to our doorsteps. Snow is beautiful, but on a more temporary standpoint, its come to cause a hindrance due to driving and outdoor activities. I can roll my eyes at it, but I can still feel giddy inside knowing that it's only a temporary lifestyle, and let's be honest, how pretty is white fluffy fresh fallen snow !!

 

 

Slalom baby, slalom

Arriving in Ludlow, with a slightly altered itinerary due to an on the ball host dad, we still anticipated a ski fulled weekend. Exhausted from the previous nights events, we had an early night in the condo, which was sitting at 20 Degrees Fahrenheit on arrival.

We woke up and began the dressing process, tights, warm long socks and ski pants, a shirt, a thermal shirt, and a thick ski jacket and scarf, helmet, goggles and gloves. We drove to the bottom to find our way, meet up with our ski instructor and get our passes, being newbies, putting on and tightening our boots I felt like an incompetent fool, laughing at ourselves hysterically as we wobbled and duck walked our way across the ice and snow. So much for smooth and sexy skiers. Legs already cramping we met up with Bob, who to my disappointment was not a 25 year old, blonde haired blue eyed, tanned, muscular snowboarding pro who would guide me in his arms as we ski'd down isolated slopes and into the sunset together........ We had a group of 5, and started in the bunny slopes, feeling the motion, understanding the leaning and the turning, we all did exceptionally well for first timers if I may say so myself. We went up the magic carpet, and down the powdery snow for the next 45 minutes, all managing to grasp the concept! Dan was a late bloomer, but boy did she bloom !


 

We had a lunch break with coffee and noodles and came back for our second session. With a little more confidence, we were strapping and tightening like we'd totes done this before ! Bob took us for one last bunny slope and told us we were ready for the lift. Ohhh.. big step. Going up for the first time is daunting, you have to wait for these steel bars to vigorously swing around the rotation, slide to the black line, then turn around and the next steel chair is there, it swings back then scoops you up, gravity pulling you and then ripping you upwards, woah rush! Not to mention the jump off, where you place your ski's on the edge and wait for the precise moment to stand up and find gravity under your feet again, and with speed down a small embankment. On the second lift process, I followed the procedures, turned around to find my seat and some fella had already taken it, the chair comes so quickly, and state of panic I ended up on his lap. My life flashing before me as I vision myself plummeting from the lifts into the snow, splattered, I held that gentleman like he was the last piece of fresh bread, he could clearly feel my desperation and was holding me in places that only dawned on me once the lift had been stopped and I was safe again. Apparently the ski lift thing was like traffic, and traffic when everyone is in a rush to get to work, its dangerous! Nevertheless I ended up skiing down twice, Dan more bravely a third time, we went slowly and cautiously in a group, intermittently, always together. It's such a great feeling when you gain some speed and you feel yourself zigzagging in a consistent motion, a great sense of achievement, and such a rush! A must try sport if you have the means. We were knighted at level 3 skiers by the end of the day, not too shabby.

Life is a highway....

It's the beginning of November, and Sandy has given winter a world wide welcome, and she's made it clear its going to be a memorable one at that. South African bred, thinking Fall was bitterly cold, this winter story shocked my system and my bank balance to implement the American advice of "layers, layers, layers!" Nevertheless, with extreme weather comes extreme sports. Danielle's family having the condo in Vermont, vouched for a great Ski opportunity for us both, and one we couldn't refuse. It was a trip to Outdoor Sports Centre in Wilton, where our boots were fitted and paid for, 5 days for collection and we had hired our gear for the season, ski's, boots and poles. Socks, jackets, ski pants, helmet and goggles and we were A for Away !

Danielle's host dad found a great deal for us to get ski passes for Okemo mountain, as well as three one hour lessons. Considering we have both never attempted to ski in our entire existence, this sounded like the ideal package. The weekend trip was open, the plan was to have a few farewell drinks with Mariska at Cactus Rose, as she was leaving the next week, spend no more than an hour at the bar, then drive the 4 and a half hours or so from Wilton to Ludlow, where we would get to sleep around 1a.m and would be bright and bushy for our first lesson. We met for drinks, we had a few laughs, we socialized with the group, we said goodbye and we jumped in old faithful, the Pathfinder.

On route, we stopped for a coffee and pee break at Dunkin, pulling out Dan noticed warning lights appear, considering the car had been in for a repair that day it was not a concern. Driving a while longer, our jamming beats went from 4 to 2 speakers, thinking the speaker just blew, again, no concern (looking back now these were ALL warnings and concerns). Just outside of Massachusetts, around 10 p.m the clock disappears and the headlights start dimming, an emerging panic, an attempt to GPS nearest gas station, throwing commands to Dan while she drives in almost darkness, hearing next exit, she turned into the first one, trying to remain calm, I exclaimed it was the wrong exit, I guess exit was the operative word, and another was taken and we were driving through a toll with no staff in it, in which we continued to drive, coming out the toll it was no speakers, no clock , no lights, NO POWER ! We were on the side of the highway, African instincts - PANIC ! Freezing weather, Dan's window won't close (It was open from the no man toll booth drive through) shivering and shaking, a call to the host dad, and the man with a plan remains calm. Within seconds there is a tow truck, but it was just driving past and quickly lent us a hand, checking the battery to our dismay, was not the quick fix problem, it was the alternator. Over the next two hours, we were towed to a town called Springfield, where we dropped the car off at a panel beater for an early morning repair, then dropped off at a hotel to spend the night. All the movies and stories you hear, were definitely making a script for " The two African girls that went missing "

We turned the unfortunate event and made the most of it through humour and good vibes. Thankfully for that piece of plastic that saved our lives that night ! The ski trip would be delayed a day.... but our enthusiasm remained !

Something fun ...

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